likeappletrees:

whatever you do, don’t think about the fact that josh never found out that chris went back to the shed to save him and probably still thinks chris hates his guts

                                    _{REVENGE GAINED.    fun fact    :    josh’s favorite superhero is d.eadpool. he was obsessed with the comics growing up. when he heard that the movie was coming out, and that r.yan r.eynolds was going to play him, he got so excited. it was all that he would talk about for weeks on end. it probably would have been his favorite movie, even passing his favorite horror movie    (    psycho    ), if he had, canonically, made it to 2016 and been able to see it.}

let’s make a list of all the places the washington trio was banned from 

until—-dawn:

ix-macaroon:

josh-the-wendihoe:

wendiibr0s:

untilclimbingclass:

wendigotcha:

bethwashingtonsfestiveghost:

wendigotcha:

aldersinnner:

wendigotcha:

wendigotcha:

kings-of-freeside:

wendigotcha:

because you know that josh orchestrated elaborate pranks and “performance art” and jokes…. and of course hannah and beth would aid him.

-the 7/11 in the town closest to Blackwood Mountain for insisting that they were a travelling circus trio. josh juggled eggs. hannah chugged two slushies at once, proving her strength. Beth presented her siblings and danced through the aisles. when Beth tripped, Josh dropped the eggs, causing Hannah to snort, slushie coming out of her nose. they are now not allowed in on sight.

-Modern art museum. Security guard kept telling them they couldn’t touch a sculpture, they all ran at it at once because one security guard could maybe stop one very determined Washington kid, but not all of them.

-Their father’s movie studio. Josh found a scary mask and costume and ruined a take of an intense dramatic scene because he snuck up on Beth and she screamed bloody murder. Beth found another costume and they ganged up on Hannah. They aren’t allowed there on shooting days anymore.

-For a while Sam’s mother had banned them from the house because Josh threw a rock at Sam’s bedroom window to wake her up so she could go on a midnight adventure with him & his sisters and the window broke and the alarm was tripped. Sam wasn’t even home at the time.

-one time they tried to steal a hamster from petco for fun, by stuffing it in Josh’s hoodie. After they were caught and banned, they convinced the entire gang to do a sit in outside, protesting for rodent rights.

they are banned from 3 YMCA’s in the Midwest for singing the song from the moment they walked in to the moment they left, pointing at every guy and yelling “young man”, and actually upstaging a Zumba instructor, by convincing an entire group of Zumba dancers to do and sing the YMCA with them.

Beth is banned from another one for getting in a heated debate with a misogynist who worked the front desk about the origin of the YMCA and how it was bullshit that now the YWCA hardly had a presence is that part of the Hoosier state, especially because of the differences in the service as regards to battered women. Beth also nearly punched him in the face, and challenged him to a duel.

-the local garden house because Josh stood inside for 3 hours silently imitating the different plants while his sisters pretended to have a heated debate over the variety of cacti the shop offered.

one time, they staged a duel in a gas station. Twin Battle to the Death™… Josh refereed. Hannah died twice, dramatically. Beth died once after Hannah through a package of bbq corn nuts at her. Josh sobbed over their respective bodies.

- They haven’t been allowed all three of them at once into Chris’ house since Josh was about 14, simply because they’re all too hyperactive at once, which makes Chris hyperactive, thus causing Chris’ mother to want to pull her hair out, as well as multiple broken items. If there is a single Washington they can come in for short periods of time, but no more than one Washington at a time for fear of Chris’ mother’s china.

the mothers of the gang actually have a email group in which they schedule where their kids are going and who is going to host the Washington kids because of that. it often involves Emily’s mother getting a glass of wine and inviting Chris’s mother over for massages.

sam’s mom loves the ruckus, but there is just too much precious items in her house for the washingtons to wreak havoc

-They’re banned from the history museum because Josh tried climb into the mummy exhibit and Beth and Hannah distracted their parents while he did so

-They are banned from visiting the nearest mall’s Santa during the holidays because one year, while in line with his sisters to get a picture with Santa (despite them being way to old), they decided to teach the children in line about Krampus, and ruining Christmas for all of the children.

- They are banned from going into Walmart together because Josh got the brilliant idea to dare the girls about who could scream the funniest jokes into the intercom. Needless to say, the manager was not happy when Josh shouted “HEY YOU OVER THERE! I JUST WANNA SAY THAT WHILE I MAY NOT GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS A FAMOUS DIRECTOR, I WILL DEFINITELY GO DOWN ON YOU!” at a checkout girl going on her break.

- They were banned from a local movie theater they went to because not only did Josh and Beth make Mystery Science Theatre 3000-esque commentaries throughout the whole movie, Hannah bought 6 jumbo bags of popcorn purely to run down the aisles and throw them on the audience during a scene in the movie where it was raining/snowing while shouting “HE DIES IN THE END”. Beth and Josh assisted by throwing their own popcorn in the air. It was delicious.

-local aquarium: the three were banned from their local aquarium because Josh had this amazing idea to dare Beth to pet one of the giant sea turtles in the off limits exhibits. Beth being stubborn as she is, had to take up the bet, sneaking into the exhibit, successfully petting the turtle before falling in with it, that is. Hannah did not want to get involved, so she just watched as her brother desperately tried to pry Beth out of the water, then falling in himself. Hannah made sure to take lots of videos and pictures, before getting pulled in by the two already in the water. They are no longer allowed in that aquarium.