trcshymemes:

GAME GRUMPS SENTENCE STARTERS. 

• ❝ God, what if we just fucked one day? ❞
• ❝ Don’t sass me in front of the internet. ❞
• ❝ Follow your stupid fucking dreams. ❞
  
• ❝ Come at me scrub lord, I’m ripped. ❞
  
• ❝ I just wanna have sex with space. ❞
  
• ❝ Get in the tub with me, daddy. ❞
  
• ❝ Will you just relax and let me kill for money? ❞
  
• ❝ That sounds like your problem. Fuck you. ❞
  
• ❝ Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. Eat your teeth. ❞ 
• ❝ Make like a tree and fucking die. ❞
  
• ❝ Dude just…just pity laugh at least. ❞
  
• ❝ Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird. ❞
  
• ❝ We are like the Stephen Kings of stupid. ❞
  
• ❝ Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so? ❞
  
• ❝ Do I have to jerk you off to blow your mind? ❞
  
• ❝ I haven’t had so much fun since I killed my parents. ❞
  
• ❝ Unfortunately I had sex with a guy/girl over the weekend. ❞
  
• ❝ What’s a vegetarian zombie say? GRAAAAAAAINS. ❞
  
• ❝ Revenge is a best dish served fuck you. ❞
  
• ❝ Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ❞
  
• ❝ I need an ice cream sandwich and a gentle blowjob. ❞
  
• ❝ Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. ❞
  
• ❝ The bananas has gone bad! ❞
  
• ❝ I cared for those bananas! I raised them with my own two feet! ❞
  
• ❝ Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke. ❞
  
• ❝ What if everyone just had constant helicopter dick? ❞
  
• ❝ [ name ], does getting me wet fill you with determination? ❞
  
• ❝ I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian. ❞
  
• ❝ Wouldn’t it be funny if, like, you lost a family member? ❞
  
• ❝ These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed’. ❞ 
• ❝ Call me One Direction ‘cause my relevancy is dropping by the day. ❞ 
• ❝ One time I killed a person and I didn’t report it to the police. ❞
• ❝ I wanna take a girl to the Grand Canyon, fuck her, and throw her in. ❞ 
• ❝ Nothing like a gunshot wound to the face to really mellow someone out. ❞ 
• ❝ If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst! ❞ 
• ❝ [ name ], I’m on a date with a guy/girl right now and you’re embarrassing me. ❞
  
• ❝ I’ve made a decision. I’m gonna in the kitchen, gonna open the dishwasher, and I’m gonna climb inside. ❞
  
• ❝ I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified. ❞
  
• ❝ I could pee on this couch, right now, no problem, while looking you directly in the eyes.❞ 
• ❝ Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’ ❞
  
• ❝ All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are blue, except for three of them. And there are four. ❞ 
• ❝ And Abraham said unto Moses, ‘Bro, dude, aliens.’ ❞
  
• ❝ I’m gonna throw you out the window. We don’t even have any windows in this room…I’m gonna carve out a window and throw you through it. ❞ 
• ❝ DO IT YOU SACK OF SHIT! – Sorry. That didn’t come out as encouraging as I meant it to. ❞
• ❝ [ name ], if there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.❞
  
• ❝ If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else. ❞
  
• ❝ Next time we make love, [ name ], would you please refer to me as your sweet cakey treasure? ❞   
• ❝ I try to show at least one other human-being my butt hole every single day. ❞
  
• ❝ The only people who don’t like sluts are the people who don’t get any. ❞ 
• ❝ Have you ever though of a career in driving people fucking insane? Because you are already a PRO at it. ❞ 
• ❝ I am actively looking for ways to get you to shut the fuck up. ❞
• ❝ First of all, you have to stop calling it ‘Mary Jane.’ That’s the first rule of stonerdom. People will think you’re a fucking narc. ❞
  
• ❝ First of all, no one says ‘pot-eyes’, you fuckin’ narc. ❞
  
• ❝ If by OK you mean like on the inside I’m just going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ then yes, I’m quite OK ❞
  
• ❝ When you walk outside there are three elements of nature that you must avoid: snow, wind, and bees. ❞ 
• ❝ Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, “Congratulations you wiped your ass, here’s a new shirt.” ❞