shit my friends and i have said starter meme. pt. i. 

  • i just need to make a cake and then i’ll be back to normal. 
  • i just showed up to my final. without a pencil. like a jackass.
  • SOCRATES WAS A DRAMA QUEEN.
  • how did she lose four phones in less than a month?
  • the ghost from the ouija board told me to send it nudes.
  • listen, man, i was only the getaway driver.
  • oh, no. i’m totally better than all of you.
  • i refuse to partake in any of this, but that doesn’t mean i won’t post screenshots of this on tumblr.
  • who the fuck goes to the club on a monday?
  • i looked like a baked potato.
  • THE HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE IS ON NETFLIX. I REPEAT. THE HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE IS ON NETFLIX.
  • never be ashamed of your kinks. 
  • i realize that you’re probably working, but fuck you for not answering. i was going to ask what kind of girl scout cookies you like but since you didn’t answer i just got samoas i hope you fucking hate them.
  • one of my sims woohoo’d this old guy and as soon as they were done he fucking died and she slept with the grim reaper.
  • if you give me $300, i will totally let you beat the shit out of me. 
  • the people across from us are taking pictures and being hella loud and playing music. can i play heavy metal until they leave? 
  • i thought i was being productive by starting the history reading early, but i got halfway through chapter one and started crying over the dumbass that was christopher columbus. 
  • my eyebags are so bad that it looks like i was just punched in the face twice.
  • then we have ____, who is pure salt.
  • listen, if i’m suffering, i’m making you suffer with me.
  • i don’t even care that he called me a hater and tweeted while speaking to me, this is just artful levels of petty.
  • you know you’re depressed when you’re just eating a container of cookie dough.
  • can you believe columbus went from studying ocean currents and wind patterns to committing genocide? 
  • our evil sim officially has three girlfriends and one mortal enemy. 
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your game has gone terribly wrong.

don't be too hard on joshua. he's been through – he's been through so much. but you know that already. don't you?

you're crying out for help.

independent joshua "josh" washington from until dawn. established january 19th, 2017. written by rowie.

i don't take orders from you.

consistent blood, gore, cannibalism, mental illness, murder, and other not safe for work triggers WILL BE PRESENT.